I couldn't make this shit up if I tried. Crazy weird dreams last night...the most memorable involving me carrying around my brother's baby (which he doesn't have and is probably a good thing) on a remote farm. Oh cute, how nice you say in your stupid internet voice. No. I was carrying around a half eaten (somehow alive) baby, bleeding and oozing all over me, drooling, half conscious and unable to speak. The thing was split up the middle, so when I set him down I had to be careful about ripping him in half...Oh, you picked up on that half eaten part did you...yeah, I was the one eating it. I was carrying the thing around to cut off chunks to grill up whenever the hunger pains struck me...had time to make a double cheeseburger out of it before waking up...
"You may have trouble sleeping, vivid, unusual, or strange dreams while taking CHANTIX. Use caution driving or operating machinery until you know how CHANTIX may affect you."...they forgot to list imaginary baby eating.
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3 comments:
Dear Jake,
I'm sorry to say this, but it has come to my attention that you may in fact be a zombie. Upon our next meeting I will have to kill you. I'm sorry for this.
-David
1. I want to shoot Jake in the head too.
2. JAke you are not welcome at Jetts birthday party at Happy Joes.
Mr. D...luckily I can't read. So your apology means nothing.
and
1. My dog is the zombie, so shoot her in the head.
B. When is Happy Joes?
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