I NEED TO BORROW $15,595

Thanks in advance.

SLAYER & ICE T MASHUP

Slayer and Ice T "mash-up" from the Judgement Night Soundtrack. Its definitely something and that something is definitely not the best thing in the world.

[DISORDER MP3]

CHINESE DEMOCRACY WHEN

Dr. Pepper calling Axl's bluff by promising everyone in America a free soda if he delivers their new album, Chinese Democracy, in 2008.

[DP BLOG ON IT]

Super cool PR stunt in my book...but still not a Guns N Roses fan.

VINTAGE VENDO COKE MACHINE

A while back I found this little gem on craigslist. I negotiated a price with the girl and all was set for me to pick it up when she seemingly backed out of the deal by becoming completely unresponsive...

So today, I got an email from her out of no where asking if I was still interested. I just got off the phone with her...and I'm happy to report I'll be picking this bird up tomorrow afternoon.

Apparently its in fairly decent shape...the light supposedly still works on the front and it still keeps tasty beverages cold...from what I can gather, I think its from 1966.

When I was on the phone with her, she made it a point to mention her husband would be home with her when I pick it up at least twice. So I've deduced...that I must have a molester rapist tone to my voice....crap.

JUNIOR SENIOR

A pretty nifty music video.

GREETINGS FROM MISSOURI

Who says us folks in the yonder Midwest is dummern rock candy?
[TARD]

COME AGAIN ANOTHER DAY

[STILL RAINING]

COUNTRY MOON & A SCHWINN PARKED AT A KICKBALL GAME

Last night I finally watched the highly praised No Country For Old Men. Though it was good, there's no denying that, I think the hype ruined it for me...and there were a few scenes missing from the movie. Nothing too key, but some stuff that further developed a few things. All considered, the book was better. I also watched an oldie (kinda...not really...2002), but a goodie...13 Moons with Steve Buscemi. Not the best movie by far, but a good watch if you haven't seen it.

I also stripped down ye ol' Schwinn a bit more. I got it down to the frame, aside from the chain cold kickin' it...which will hang out until this weekend when I can borrow a chain tool.

Completely off any subject...within a month or so I'll be announcing the next bi-annual kickball game, so stick that in the back of your gourd.

1972 MADE ME A BIKE

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EASTER WEEKEND MINUS THE LORD

Friday was good, and not because of Jebus, but rather the FBC Full Moon Fiasco. The actual ride was rather short and there seemed to be a larger than usual number of people wrecking. Happily, none of which were me. I started riding about 8ish when it was still high 60s, so my shorts and knee socks proved a bit silly come time for the actual ride when temperatures dropped...luckily there was a slinger to warm me up at the end of the ride.

Saturday I drove back to see the folks, where my mom had a dead beaver lying next to the drive way to greet us.

Sunday the rest of the family came over. It was nice to eat an actual home cooked meal again. By 5:15 I was on the road again back to STL with my new not so shiny yellow '72 Schwinn Varsity. It was my mom's high school graduation present. She grudgingly agreed to let me take it to rebuild into a fixed. So thanks ma and future helper builders alike. Once restoration starts, I'll post progress pictures.

OUTSIDE IS MAD I'M NOT OUT THERE

Raise your hand if you'd rather be riding your bike than at work right now...okay, I can't see you, so I'm assuming your hand is high and there is a dumb ass grin on your face. Don't worry, I have one too...because it is awesomeo outside right now. Rode to work today in an attempt to settle the urge, but it was too short and appears to have only fueled the desire. Perhaps a lunch ride is in order.

And for those of you in STL [FULL MOON FIASCO No.36] is nearly upon us...you may rejoice.

For now, a walk to the coffee shop is in order.

YOU'VE GOT MAIL...WELL I DO ANYWAYS

Last night I came home to some interesting mail...which turned a night of sitting on my ass relaxing to a night of coffee stout and attorney friends (I think they prefer attorney to lawyer).

Funny thing about attorneys (no, this is not an opening to a lame joke)...you can't really tell when they're drunk. My assumption is that they are so used to being on point and talking so much that it becomes embedded in their social skills.

I hate mail...

WiiFIT

Now I'm not too keen on exercising, but not a shabby trend in the home workout. Just think...maybe next people will actually leave their homes to exercise...

The WiiFit was released in Japan December 1, 2007 and (no surprise) sold over a quarter of a million copies in its first week. Look for it to hit the US soon.

LAST NIGHTS SHOW

Stolen photo from SHFTblog. I don't have an iPhone...blow me.

So...went to X last night. Fucking amazing show, sounded great and a good time was had by all. As rumored, they were on the small side, which is always cool because it keeps everybody close to the stage.

Sorry to say, but I do have one complaint...a small one...Billy Zoom brought in an unseen by me before bizarre creepy factor. He played with this weird animatronic pasted on smile while staring in to the crowd the entire show...never looking at his guitar. He looked like one of those robots on stage at Chuck E. Cheese. But the fact that he is awesome...and is in X, quickly makes up for it.

Odd thing I did experience for what I think is safe to say for the first time...being among the youngest. I'd say (and without exaggeration) there were maybe five people younger than me at the show. It was actually a nice change. Especially since it was St. Patrick's Day and there was the potential for a fuck load of stupid assholes in green to be running around celebrating their self proclaimed "Irish heritage."

NEW OBAMA PRINT RELEASED

CHANGE by Shepard Fairey

If you're one of the ass hats that missed out on the last print like me, then you might be interested in this one.

Just got me one...you can have one too...
[GET IT HERE]

X

X tonight at Pops
13-31 Tour: The 31st Anniversary Tour
John Doe, Billy Zoom, Exene Cervenka, DJ Bonebrake. All original members.
Monday, March 17th

Doors 7:00pm

I heard a rumor they'll be playing on the small side, which is awesome if its true. If I don't see you there, its probably because you're dumb...

LINKS-A-GOGO

New link added on the right...Photoshop Disasters. Enjoy...I am.

CYCLIST PSA

[DO THE TEST]

BEST SITE EVER

[CHRISTVERTISING]
I think my favorite is the where video...due to the multitude of refreshments.

CAPTAIN BEEFHEART & THE MAGIC BAND

Not only do they have a rad name, but they crank out a mean tune...

[ZIG-ZAG WANDERER MP3]

ANOTHER USELESS TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEMENT

A robot that puts petrol in your car, accompanied by the soundtrack of Debbie Does Dallas?

BACK

I was in Chicago Sunday, Monday, Tuesday.

Made me realize once again, how far STL has to go before becoming a true city.

REASON NO. 1 WHY I SHOULD LIVE IN CHINA

TONIGHT

[HARD LESSONS]
Fri Mar 07
09:00 PM
Saint Louis, MO
Highway 61 Roadhouse

9 MP3s from their B & G Side Volumes for download on their website. If you can check 'em live I strongly would recommend it, they put on a good show.

CROC CELL PHONE HOLSTER

Are you fuckin' serious...we need these...really?

THE ETTES MP3

So I'm a sucker for a female lead...whatever...

You're gonna need to right click to download this little diddy.
[NO MORE SUPRISES]

PRODUCT EXPLANATION VIDEOS

Hysterical at that...

Do you remember the first time you'd ever heard of an iPod, or text messaging, or a computer mouse? Were the benefits of that product or technology immediately obvious to you?

Sometimes after a company designs a new product or tech, their marketing department worries the public won't "get it" and commissions a "lifestyle video" to show us ig'nant consumers how the product will make our lives better. Microvision, a US company working on mini- or "pico-" projectors that can be embedded in cell phones and portable devices, has a hysterical series of promo videos up in that vein.

With high-school-play production value, the videos show "us" using projector technology to pitch projects in an elevator, watch music videos with an unnatural level of enthusiasm (even for middle school girls) and most sadly, pick each other up at a bar when we've not got the stones to actually talk to each other.


The last one's the kicker--since you can never objectify an attractive female bartender enough, they must now do double duty as projector screens for our home videos.


Hey buddy, get that projection off my back before I break this Heineken over your fuckin' head!

[WATCH THE VIDEOS]

FORTUNE COOKIE

From lunch...

You will be called to fill a position of high honor and responsibility.
Lucky # 2, 17, 20, 21, 31, 33
Learn Chinese: Ah-Quan, Safety

So, if I've interpreted this correctly, which I have...I'm gonna be a safety king.

HORRIBLE

WHERE IS THE WOLF...
More inportantly can you fight off two demons? By the way did you know that, werewolf is boys naked...who knew?

SOMETIMES THE PATH IS PERILOUS...

THE HOMOSEXUALS MP3

Classic 70's UK DIY Punk...

[ASTRAL GLAMOUR]

BOYCOTT NO MORE

After much debate, I lifted my boycott on my local watering hole last night...mostly because my alternative was closed...I have principals damn it.

The boycott started two and a half weeks ago. Me and a small group of upstanding citizens who frequent the bar were unjustly accused of trying to run out on our tab...retarded accusation to say the least. So there were something like four of us, all the bartenders know us...they know what we drink, they know our names, they know where I live...they know me better than my mom does. So we're at the establishment in question drinking, we're not drunk yet, its early, we're not belligerent by any means...so we decide to hit another bar and ask one of the bartenders to tab us out...which she does, the problem here is that there are three bartenders who were taking care of us and the main bartender isn't around to see us get the bill. Anyways, she gives us our damage, we pay and we tip exceptionally well...and we leave. Half a block later, the main bartender comes out yelling that we were trying to fuck him, he can't believe we'd even try it being we're in there so often, blah blah. We tell him we paid...which we in fact did...he tells us to wait while he checks...we tell him fuck you we're leaving. Enter boycott mode...

Lesson to be learned here kiddos is ye ol' customer is always right when that customer is me.

I'm happy to be back.

LAMBERT AIRPORT CLOSED FOR BUSINESS

All flights have been canceled due to this bastard blizzard. My buddy from Seattle just called for a place to stay. He was on his way out of town from visiting his parents and it looks like he'll be staying the night in good ol' STL.

THINGS...NOW WITH MORE STUFF

Its windy and snowing like a hell this morning, which sucks because I want to ride my bike to work. I (and by I, I mean a friend) just put a new set of bull horns on my shit. Although, I did get some good ride time in this past weekend. It was 70some degrees and gorgeous out. Saturday, I ended up riding by myself. I took a lap downtown and then headed to the River Trail, which I took up to the Chain of Rocks Bridge...as always, shitty head wind on the way back. Sunday, a buddy and I put the new bull horns on my bike and rode up every fucking hill we could find in Saint Louis...fun though.

Last night, Art Mart called to tell me my Daniel Johnston piece is finished and ready to be picked up, but I'm not about to try to venture out in the shitty weather, so that has to wait.

I found a sweet ass vintage Coke machine a fews days back on Craigslist. Called the girl and set everything up, but now I think she's backing out because she is suddenly MIA...I hate her. On the up side, I made a shit ton of spaghetti last night, so I don't have to cook tonight. Not really an upside, but its something...I was just trying to make myself feel better right there...I don't really cook that much anyways...and I'm pretty sure this is by no means relative to anything. Oh, and the other night while at the store to get my spaghetti supplies, on my way out...I might have seen a dead guy in his car. Dead or sleeping...I'm not sure, he was old, could have been either. I'm hoping for sleeping, but yes- I'm a bad person, I didn't stop to help. But I didn't want to know...