CIGARETTE BUM

There is this cigarette bum, one of many I know, but he trolls the area where I live about the same time every morning when I'm walking my dog. He knows I smoke, everyday...never fails, he asks for a cigarette. Everyday, never fails...I say no.

So today I'm out with my dog, and I didn't see him. I kind of thought to myself...hey this is gonna be a good day. Dog poops, I pick it up, everything is gravy so I take the dog back inside. I grab my bike and head out to work. Riding down the street I see this guy. I pass by him and have to be like thirty feet past this asshole when he yells "HEY...give me cigarette?" Not even a question, a straight up demand...

I obviously keep going, turn my head and flail my arms in the air...giving him the ol' are you fucking serious, you want me to turn around, get off my bike, get in my bag...just so I can give a stranger a cigarette headshake, coupled with a dirty look.

***Also, the Cigarette Bum wants you to play kickball...he says you won't want to miss the demonstration of awesomeness. See below.